We are really happy there and Mrs. Phillips is just the best!”. With all of that in mind, here are some of the ways that you can show respect to your children and avoid those power struggles that can come at all different ages. When you’re ready, you’ll use the potty.”, Instead of: “You need to practice for your piano lessons.”, Try: “I trust you know what you need to do to prepare well for your piano lessons.”. Remind kids that they should treat others the way they want to be treated, with kindness and concern for their feelings. Ask Fewer Questions. Give children experiences. Just as we would not invade an adults physical space, nor should we do so with a child. Obviously, it’s important children know how to act in a civilized society – but let’s be honest, we also feel incredibly guilty or embarrassed when OUR kids are disrespectful. By giving your child space to share in a comfortable way when he’s ready, you offer him the same respect you appreciate from others. Come on, Luke, just get in. What have you learned from other problems that might help you with this one?”. I totally get how frustrating that is. You can show empathy, “That’s a tough one, isn’t it?” Or express confidence, “You’re really growing up. ALL THE DETAILS. By shifting your language, you show Luke that you respect his decision and have faith he’ll take the dive when HE is ready. Prepare strips of brightly colored paper. Raising those kiddos is the most important job you’ll ever do and I’m grateful to support you on this journey. A child who wants to provoke a reaction will endure almost any unpleasantness just to get a rise out of you. He’s the one who knows.”. Again, being respectful yourself works better than lecturing. Do you like your teacher?”, We stand silent for a second or two before we cut through the silence. “How is your school, Jack? “His school is great! Teach the Importance of Respect . When parents respond quickly to every question, request, or inquiry, children learn to depend on instant responses and feel frustrated when parents don’t respond with haste. Protectiveness. Teaching your children to respect the property of others is a great, concrete way to teach moral character. And we’ve seen why respect is important. Recognize your efforts, rather than focusing only on results When children are more confident and capable – even in uncomfortable situations – the respect will flow more freely. If they still choose not to, don’t make a big deal out of it, just continue on in your conversation. #3 Create Respect/Disrepect Baskets. I will teach you how to get your kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling (which will also help foster a mutually respectful relationship with your child). Yes, you can show it with actions, but it is still different when you tell them. Sign up for my newsletter for parenting tips to help you create a happier home and become the parent you always wanted to be. Everyone wants respect. Keep in mind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Then show her how to get what she wants respectfully: "When you want me … Not only will these strategies demonstrate respect for kids, but each suggestion will help foster their autonomy and reduce the power struggles in your home. Out of frustration or exhaustion or lack of appropriate tools, parents may sometimes respond in ways that discourage kids from asking questions – “How many times have I told you?” “Don’t ask me that again” or “I don’t know!” Â. Children who don't respect themselves are more likely to drink alcohol, take drugs, have sex, and treat others badly. He is having fun and you will too!”. 40. This is just the beginning of a morning (or full day) of decisions that lead to a mutual respect between Guide and child. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don't respect his or her time. To demonstrate respect for their good sense and judgment, we should simmer down on the questioning. To teach your child to respect differences, first you must educate him on the basis of equality. The parent will serve as the main example for the person the child ultimately become. Stay calm and don’t overreact when you “think” your child is being disrespectful Allow your children to learn about the texture, weight, and moisture of the soil in your backyard, by making mudpies or planting bulbs if they are a bit older.  I know you can work through this.”, With younger kids, parents will understandably feel exhausted by the number of questions they get asked on a daily basis. We walk into a play date or family reunion or birthday party with our child by our side. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people show a lack of respect for others. Obviously, it’s important children know how to act in a civilized society – but let’s be honest, we also feel incredibly guilty or embarrassed when OUR kids are disrespectful. Remember all of those swim lessons you took – those were fun, right?! Out of frustration or exhaustion or lack of appropriate tools, parents may sometimes respond in ways that discourage kids from asking questions –, “How many times have I told you?” “Don’t ask me that again” or “I don’t know!”, “You have a little ketchup on your cheek, here’s a napkin if you’d like to wipe it off.”, “I really love the shirt you chose! When we try to coerce children into doing something they don’t want to do or don’t feel comfortable doing, we miss an important opportunity to show respect. Your best bet in situations like the one mentioned above is to be respectful of your child’s eventual “readiness.” So when Luke doesn’t want to swim that day, simply say, “No worries. As soon as he can communicate verbally, he can learn to say "please" and "thank you." Everyone is due respect by virtue of being a human being. If other parenting questions came to mind while reading this, please know you’re not alone. In the Montessori environment, you may notice the way a Guide greets a child at the door every morning: by bending down to eye level, looking into the child’s eyes, and gently shaking her hand while greeting her by name. So the big question remains, in a world where common courtesies come and go, how can we teach our kids to be respectful?! After all, no one likes a  boss who micromanages every detail of a project. The answer is that WE have to model the respect we hope to see from our kids. If the child isn't hurting … After all, our long-term goal is to raise self-motivated, capable, respectful and resilient humans, not ones who are easily coerced by the pressure of others. For example, role-playing with scenario cards can help. That doesn’t mean you have to look at the ketchup on her face through the entire meal. Just because you shouldn’t be quick to respond does not mean you DON’T respond. Instead of: “His school is great! 5 Ways to Show Respect for Your Child (And Gain Their Respect in Return) 1. Positive communication with parents and caregivers helps you understand and handle a child's special needs. Erase all stereotyped feelings from him and teachhim how to be tolerant of others’ faults. All parents want their kids to be kind, polite and respectful to. The truth is, you may feel like you’re already doing that and the respect still isn’t reciprocated. Write their answers on the strips of paper, then create a paper chain to hang in the room. When we make an intentional effort to model a respectful attitude for our children, they are more likely to mimic it. 3 Steps to Make it Stop. It is music to their ears. Listening is one way to show respect for each other, and respect is essential to building good relationships, whether it’s between friends, partners, or siblings. 39. Tell them you love them as often as possible. On a basic level, this may seem obvious to parents – let your child bathe himself, allow her to choose what clothes to wear, let him decide on his hairstyle. Show children how to make a whistling sound with a blade of grass. “I don’t want to go in the water,” he remarks. Or last summer at the lake, we had the best time. When our children know we respect their decisions and trust they will follow through we create a mutual respect for one another. Does it Work? For many, disciplining children is a daily challenge. We reinforce that their opinion isn’t valued, We rescue the less socially confident (shy) child from an uncomfortable situation. Respect is a two-way street and when you choose to model mutual respect, you’ll be well on your way to raising respectful children. It seems that in today’s society, social graces focus less on respecting others and more on a “me first” mentality. That sounds like a win-win-win to me – respectful, capable AND compliant children? Guides encourage parents to allow their children to walk into the classroom on their own, carrying their own belongings. I can’t do it!”, Parent:   “What is the problem asking you to do? Or instructions we could read together?”, Child: “Can you help me with this math problem? Once children are old enough to maintain basic hygiene, let them be! Much of the Montessori philosophy stems from a deep respect for children; from respecting their freedom to choose, to move, to correct their own mistakes, and to work at their own pace, to using real words to describe and categorize things, Montessori Guides and Aides work from a genuine place of respect. If that’s the case for you, I’d love to have you JOIN ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS. Copyright 2021 Positive Parenting Solutions. One way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. Kids are accustomed to parents communicating with a lot of ordering, correcting and directing. When children are more confident and capable – even in uncomfortable situations – the respect will flow more freely. You must convey to him that we are all the same because we all belong to the human race, whether we are white, black, Indian … Teaching your child respect in a positive way will help you earn their respect and grow into respectful adults. Plus, when you subscribe, I'll also send you a copy of our strategy-packed guide 10 Tips for Better Behavior â Starting NOW! If you sometimes feel like YOU’RE on the firing line of your CHILD’S barrage of questions, stay engaged, show interest, but don’t be so quick to give an answer. When we try to coerce children into doing something they don’t want to do or don’t feel comfortable doing, we miss an important opportunity to show respect. Register for my free class called How to Get Kids to Listen, Without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control. The problem is when we interject for our kids two things can happen: Instead of jumping in to do things for our kids or answer for them – let them answer, struggle, and think for themselves. Reliability. Let a child feel the bark and leaves of a familiar tree, maybe taking a leaf home to press. A well-intentioned adult walks up enthusiastically and wants to know how 1st grade is going for our little man. What... 2. Showing respect involves being aware of your child’s very real feelings, and doing so will solidify the trust you have built with your child. We’ve all done it. Children who lack self-respect … As such, parents should be keenly aware of the impact they will have on … By letting kids own their bodies and personal appearance, we show them the same level of respect we hope they will show others. Â. The idea that children deserve to be treated with respect and dignity is. respectful to us and to other kids and adults? Here are some ways for you to build and maintain self-respect: Develop your own interest, goals, and strengths. Show affection by hugging and kissing them. 38. There are plenty of ways you can show your child (and other children with whom you come into contact) respect on a daily basis. For more information about our school, please visit our main site at http://www.villadimaria.org. Just imagine, you’ve planned the perfect pool day for your entire family. Respect the child's differences. The good news is we can make a few simple tweaks to the way we interact with our children that will ENCOURAGE a mutually respectful relationship. That sounds like a win-win-win to me – respectful, capable AND compliant children? Here are 5 ways to show respect, develop your child’s capability and avoid power struggles: Kids’ tight lips don’t necessarily mean they don’t want to share – they. What is Positive Parenting? This website uses cookies for a variety of purposes more fully described in our, I totally get how frustrating that is. How to Choose the Online Parenting Class thatâs Right for Your Family. For instance, refrain from talking about your child to other adults in front of your child. When we don’t give a child an opportunity to figure out the answer for himself, we demonstrate a lack of confidence in his abilities and sow the seeds of helplessness and over-dependence on mommy or daddy. Respect is an attitude. A child who respects his peer will show kindness in their interactions. Treat others the way adults sometimes interrupt, talk over, or dismiss something a experiences! Type of behavior, the next is waiting on the basis of equality your?. 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